Archive:
ketubah text
Photo by Victoria.Salinas
Lately, I’ve had more than a few couples asking me about how to write their own ketubah text, and I couldn’t be happier.
Why? Because I think more engaged couples should consider this as an option. My husband and I decided to write our own original ketubah text when we were getting married last fall, and it was an extremely meaningful process. Sure, it took a good chunk of time (and a few arguments) to decide just how we wanted to word our wedding promises, but it was so worth it in the end. Now we have a beautiful ketubah text that truly reflects what marriage means to us. Not to mention that the process of writing it gave us the opportunity to discuss some of the hard stuff.
If you and your partner are thinking about writing your own ketubah text, I have a few pieces of advice. I hope you’ll find them useful! We certainly couldn’t have gotten through the process without them. So, without further ado…
How to write your own ketubah text in 6 steps:
1) Put it on the calendar
When we were first getting started, we kept trying to squeeze some writing time in after dinner / before the gym / as soon as this episode of Breaking Bad is over / etc. Here’s the thing. To do this right, you’ll need a good long chunk of time so that you can really get into the discussion. If you feel rushed and distracted, you won’t be able to really put your heart into it.
2) Do some research
Before you sit down to write, each person should do some digging online to see what they like and don’t like in other ketubah texts. My husband and I both spent some time surfing the internet and reading ketubah texts by artists, Rabbis and individuals. If a certain phrase or idea caught our eye, we’d right it down.
3) Brainstorm
When you first sit down together, share the ideas that you’ve each compiled on your own. Then write down anything and everything else that comes to mind. It’s important to remember that there are no bad ideas. If you’re feeling stuck, here are a few questions that you can ask each other to get the conversation going:
• What do we think are the secrets to a happy marriage?
• What does partnership and love look like to us?
• How will we handle obstacles?
• What values will be important in our home?
• How do we want to raise our children?
4) Get organized
After you’ve compiled lists of ideas that are meaningful to you, try organizing them into themed-groups. Can you tell we’re type-A? These will later become the paragraphs of your ketubah text. We found that all our ideas fit into the following themes (though yours might be quite different!): how we will treat each other in our marriage, how we will overcome obstacles, and the values we want for our home together.
5) Start writing
Since you now have an outline of ideas, it’s much easier to start writing your ketubah text! Pick out the most important ideas for each section, and boil them down to a couple simple sentences. You’ll have a full draft in no time.
6) Edit and Simplify
At this point, many people find that their ketubah text is super long. Take a few minutes to remove the unnecessary stuff, and focus in on the most powerful promises you’re making to one another. Give it a final edit for spelling and grammar, and you’re done!
That wasn’t so hard, was it? Most ketubah artists, myself included, are happy to arrange to have your custom text translated into Hebrew. So be sure to ask.
Happy writing!
Read More
Many conservative Jewish couples use the original and ancient Ketubah text on their modern ketubahs. I think that it’s absolutely incredible that a text which was written over 2000 years ago is still being used today. Did you know that the traditional text isn’t even in Hebrew? It’s in Aramaic! I find a lot of beauty in continuing the use of this traditional text – it links us to our past, and it reminds us of what a revolutionary document the ketubah was during that time.
That said, in many ways, this ancient text no longer applies to our lives today. It speaks of the transaction of goods as part of the marriage process, which can make some modern couples uncomfortable.
As of this week, I can offer Conservative Jewish couples a beautiful alternative to the traditional Conservative Ketubah text. It was written by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, who has given me permission to offer it as an option here. I love it because it removes the talk of money and transaction, but maintains the solemn feel of the original text. It also includes the Lieberman clause which is a key component to a valid Conservative Ketubah.
What do you think?
Conservative Egalitarian with Lieberman Clause
On the ____ day of the week on the ___ day of the month of ____, in the year _____ after the creation of the world, in the city of ______ in the state of _____, we celebrate that the groom, ____, son of ____ and ____, said to the bride, ____, daughter of ____ and ____, “I wish for you to marry me according to the laws of Moses and Israel, so you will be my friend and my covenanted wife, and I will work, sustain and cherish you as is the way of Jewish men, and I will provide for your food, clothing, and your other needs, and I will have conjugal relations with you.” And then the bride, ____ daughter of ____ and _____, said to the groom, _____, son of ____ and _____, “I wish for you to marry me according to the laws of Moses and Israel, so you will be my friend and my covenanted husband, and I will work, sustain and cherish you as is the way of Jewish women, and I will provide for your food, clothing, and your other needs, and I will have conjugal relations with you.” And if this union should be dissolved in a secular court, or if one of this couple leaves their home with the intention to dissolve the marriage, and they live separately for twelve months, if he sends her a get according to the laws of Moses and Israel, then this betrothal and marriage shall be right and good. If, however, after twelve months he has not sent her a get according to the laws of Moses and Israel, then this betrothal and marriage shall be null and void from the start. And the groom, _____, son of _____ and _____, and the bride, _____, daughter of _____ and _____, accepted upon themselves legal responsibility for this ketubah as weighty as all ketubah contracts which are made according to the ordinances of our Sages of blessed memory.
You can see all my Hebrew and English text options here.
Read More
Hello!
I'm Adriana Saipe, founder of Ink with Intent. I'm a full-time wedding illustrator who specializes in contemporary ketubahs and unique wedding certificates. Learn more.
Be the first to get special offers, updates from the studio, and more
CONNECT: