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Ketubah Tradition

The Ketubah – explained in 60 seconds

November 21, 2016

Meaningful Jewish Screentime

Before I had my own Jewish wedding, I was rather mystified by the vast majority of Jewish wedding customs. Each custom came with its own name, its own props, its own ceremony, and sometimes even its own music. And there were a lot of them!

Plus, since these customs each looks slightly different depending on your denomination and your specific Rabbi, my internet research was leaving me more confused than enlightened.

That is, until I stumbled upon Meaningful Jewish Screentime

This Youtube channel is incredible. Oh. My. Goodness. It tackles every major lifecycle and holiday event in the Jewish tradition and explains their significance in short, animated clips. Not only is the animation and artwork completely adorable, but they manage to make complicated customs understandable, and therefore more meaningful.

They’ve even created a segment on the ketubah!

I definitely encourage you to pop over to their channel and check out the wedding section. This stuff is pure gold!

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The Ketubah Signing Ceremony – Step by Step

September 5, 2016

Ketubah signing ceremony

So, you’ve found your ketubah artist, placed your order, chosen your text, and the beautiful document has arrived at your doorstep. Time to cross “ketubah” off your wedding to do list? Not quite.

While purchasing and customizing your ketubah is definitely the most time consuming part of the process, there’s still one thing left to coordinate – the ketubah signing ceremony. If you’re working with a wedding coordinator who’s familiar with Jewish weddings (lucky you!) he or she will probably handle a lot of these logistics for you. But if not, it’s important to run through this checklist before the big day so that you don’t find yourself rushing to sign your ketubah in a dark hallway with a smudgy pen 2 minutes before the ceremony.

Here’s a list of what needs to get done before your wedding day arrives:

1. Plan ahead for how your ketubah will get to and from the ceremony.

ketubah signing ceremony

You’ll be coordinating the movement of lots of little things (hello table numbers, bouquets, and favors!) in the days leading up to your wedding, so make sure that the ketubah makes that list. You should leave it protected in a tube or frame during transfer so that it doesn’t get damaged. Make sure that someone you trust is in charge of getting it to the venue and seeing it safely home after the reception. As someone who was recently married herself, I highly recommend that you give this job to someone else and not try to handle it yourself. You’ll be way too wrapped up in the day itself to think about lugging around your ketubah.

2. Have the right pen.

While most pens will work just fine for signing your paper ketubah, I do have a couple of suggestions. Personally, I recommend that you use a uni-ball GEL pen, as these are least likely to scratch the surface of your fine art paper ketubah. These pens are available in a wide variety of colors, and the metallic and white colors work wonderfully on the ketubahs with dark backgrounds. Make sure to have an extra piece of paper with you for the signing ceremony, so that each person can practice their signature before signing on the real thing! And again, make a plan for how those pens are going to get to the ceremony.

3. Find the right space.

Ideally, your venue will have a quiet room with a table that can comfortably fit the Rabbi, the couple, the witnesses, and any other honored guests you’ve asked to attend the signing. Check with your venue ahead of time about what space would best fit your needs, and have your ketubah and pens set up there so they’re ready to go!

4. Know who your witnesses will be.

It’s easy to remember to select your witnesses ahead of time. After all, it’s a lot of fun to ask someone to fill an honored role in your wedding ceremony. (Psst, here are my tips on how to pick your witnesses.) But the step people often forget is to make sure that their ketubah witnesses know when and where to meet for the signing ceremony. The last thing you want to do is make the groom run around the venue 5 minutes before your wedding is supposed to start trying to track down your errant witness. Make sure the witnesses have all the information they need, and the signing ceremony will go smoothly!

5. Have a plan for displaying your ketubah.

Many couples choose to display their signed ketubah during the wedding ceremony and reception. If that’s your plan, be sure to have an easel ready to go and an inexpensive frame on hand to protect your ketubah from spilled wine, weepy guests, and small grubby hands 🙂 I specifically recommend a cheap frame because I’ve heard one too many stories about people bumping into the ketubah during the ceremony and knocking it to the floor. The cheap frame will protect your ketubah in the case of disaster, but will probably be broken itself if it’s knocked to the floor. So you don’t want to invest in an expensive professional frame until that ketubah is ready to live safely on your wall at home.

A quick note about the ketubah signing ceremony itself

Now that all the logistics are locked down, here’s a brief rundown of how the actual signing ceremony usually goes. Of course, the specifics will always depend on your Rabbi, the type of ceremony you’re having (Orthodox, Secular, Interfaith, etc.) and the preferences of the bride and groom. But typically, the group will assemble in the predetermined space 20-30 minutes before the wedding ceremony is set to begin. The Rabbi will perhaps briefly explain to the assembled the significance of the ketubah. Then he or she will read the document in full. Often, the Rabbi will ask the two witnesses to sign the document first, since historically theirs were the only signatures that mattered in the legal sense. After each person has signed, the ketubah will be placed back in its frame, and returned to its easel in the wedding ceremony or reception space.

That’s it!

If you do just a few things to prepare for your ketubah signing ceremony, it’s destined to go smoothly. And if you have any questions, be sure to ask your Rabbi how they typically handle this part of a Jewish wedding!

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Before you sign your ketubah or wedding certificate, let’s talk about pens

June 10, 2015

This post is part of my “ketubah tradition” series, where I dig into the details of your ketubah signing ceremony.

So, your ketubah or wedding certificate has been purchased, designed, approved by your Rabbi, printed, and shipped to your door. Congrats! But before you officially cross it off your ever-growing wedding to do list, there’s one last thing to think about. Selecting a ketubah pen!

Contrary to what you might expect, the cheaper the pen, the better it tends to work in this situation. The ink from fancy fountain pens is far more likely to splatter and smudge. Plus, if you’re using nervous / shaky hands (and who isn’t right before their wedding ceremony!) the sharp nibs can even scratch the surface of your fine art paper ketubah or wedding certificate.

Felt-tip pens can also scratch the surface if you press too hard, and sharpies can bleed on the soft cotton rag paper your ketubah or wedding certificate is printed on.

So, what’s a bride or groom to do?

PRO TIP! Bring a fancy fountain pen with you to your wedding for the photos. You can pose holding the fancy pen. But when it actually comes time to sign, try one of the options below.

The perfect ketubah pen

There are two brands of pens I recommend for signing your ketubah or wedding certificate.

PAPER KETUBAHS AND WEDDING CERTIFICATES

If you’ve ordered a fine art paper ketubah or wedding certificate, a simple uni-ball GEL pen is probably your best bet. (Though in a pinch, any normal ball-point usually works just fine.) These pens are available in a wide variety of colors, and the metallic and white colors look incredible on the ketubahs and wedding certificates with dark backgrounds. And the Gelly Roll brand uses archival-quality inks that are chemically-stable, waterproof, and fade-resistant.

STRETCHED CANVAS KETUBAHS AND WEDDING CERTIFICATES

If you’ve ordered a ketubah or wedding certificate on stretched canvas, I recommend the Uni-Ball Signo pen series. The ink flows a bit more freely in this pen, so be careful to let it dry before touching your signature. But you’ll find that it writes smoothly even on the textured canvas. And it has all the other benefits of the Gelly Roll pens – including chemically-stable, waterproof, fade-resistant inks and a variety of color options. I would once again recommend white, silver or gold on the ketubahs and wedding certificates with dark backgrounds.

One last tip. It never hurts to have an extra piece of paper on hand so that each person can practice their signature once on scrap before putting pen to paper on the real thing.

Happy signing!

FYI: As of October 2017, this post now contains affiliate links! I’ve been recommending these exact products for years without being an affiliate, and I stand by my recommendations now. As such, Amazon requires me to include the following: “I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.”

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Adriana-Saipe_Ink-with-Intent-Blog

Hello!

I'm Adriana Saipe, founder of Ink with Intent. I'm a full-time wedding illustrator who specializes in contemporary ketubahs and unique wedding certificates. Learn more.

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